最后一句話“另一種是家實在太遠,由于房價居高不下,大量消費者購房意愿和購買現實不相符”,漢語表述的不是很清楚,在英譯時要結合上文做一些變通, 網友zebra的翻譯也注意到了這一問題:The other parents choose to be members of the "Double-Renting Tribe" as a result of the really long distance between the school and their homes. As the housing price remains stubbornly high, many purchasers cannot afford to buy houses as they like. 但在理解上和我有所不同,我覺得從寫作的角度來說,上面提到了兩個問題,這句話就應該是與第二因素有關的。這里的翻譯如果不明晰化,可能讓老外看不懂,但明晰化也確實存在不同見解的問題。說實在的,翻譯久了才發現,譯者比作者更認真,作者寫作的時候可以隨心所欲一些,而譯者從來都不能,這也是譯者最痛苦的地方。
譯題二:海底撈:網絡口碑的最佳詮釋者
網絡口碑的最佳詮釋者是海底撈。在各大論壇和微博上,海底撈早已不是一家火鍋企業,它是可以滿足客戶一切需求的宇宙英雄奧特曼。很短時間內,關于無敵海底撈的段子像網絡病毒,讓海底撈接管鐵道部、紅十字會甚至接管地球的呼聲也相當高漲。此時,海底撈的背后浮現了網絡水軍的諜影。當人們開始懷疑自己的印象被操控,網絡口碑就走到了它的反面。
參考譯文:
Haidilao: all out of IWOM
Haidilao becomes the best annotator of IWOM. For a time, all over the major forums and Weibo platforms, Haidilao was said to everything but a hotpot chain, it was "hailed" as the cosmic hero Ultraman ready to meet all demands of the customers. In a short period of time, stories about the "heroic" Haidilao spread on the internet like rampant computer virus. It was "prompted" to audaciously take over the Ministry of Railways, the Red Cross, and even the whole planet. Then netizens saw through the game of paid posters and when they realized that their opinions had been manipulated, they were ready to deal a counterblow with the same IWOM。
“段子”這個詞最初可能源于網絡上流行的一些“黃段子(dirty joke)”,但后來它的詞義發展了,因為人們又創造了“紅段子(red message)”,而關于海底撈的段子既不是“黃段子”,也不是“紅段子”,倒有點“傳聞(hearsay)”或“編造的故事(invented story)”的意思,不過在實際翻譯中,可以婉轉一些,翻譯成story就可以了。
這段文字最難翻譯的不是其中的詞匯,而是它的語言風格。在中間部分,對海底撈的敘事直接套用了網絡上那些帶有濃厚夸張色彩的句子,隱含著作者對海底撈所采取的網絡營銷模式的批評,這一點從后文的“諜影”這個詞的使用可以看出。筆者在翻譯時,給一些詞加上了引號,這樣做的目的是為了讓英語讀者更容易看出那些非事實的成分。
標題的翻譯套用了句式all out of love,正所謂“成也蕭何,敗也蕭何”。網友的翻譯在句式處理和詞匯應用上也都存在不少的問題。比如這句:As good experiences in Haidishao circulated online like internet worms, there were even louder calls to hand over the Ministry of Railways(China) and the Red Cross Society of China to this business. Good experiences對譯“段子”明顯是不對的,譯者忽視了全文的基調,海底撈的網絡口碑營銷最終成了一個失敗的案例,所以不存在什么“好的經驗”;原文反諷的語調更是沒有譯出。
譯題三:中國聲音:美國借錢要還
標準普爾公司降低美國評級對中國的負面影響,或許即將顯現。中國的外匯儲備資產高達近3.2萬億美元,一些人估計其中約70%為美元計價資產,大部分是美國國債。
新華社7日發表題為《明晰在全球經濟中的“責任”》的時評稱,作為世界最大經濟體、最大債務國、主要儲備貨幣發行國,美國“不應放任美元貶值,也不應采取新貨幣手段導致貶值加劇”,“對于‘借錢要還'的簡單責任和信譽,美國決策機制同樣要增加‘責任'意識”。
參考譯文:
China urges on US to act on debt
The negative impact on China is perhaps to arise soon of the US ratings downgrade by Standard &Poor's. China's foreign exchange assets amount to approximately a worth of USD3,200 billion, 70% of which are nothing more than capital in US dollars themselves with American treasury securities taking the lion's share。
In an editorial published on August 7 by Xinhua News Agency in China titled America should Clarify Its "Responsibility" in the World Economy, China urges on US to act on its debts to China. The article says, as the biggest economy, the biggest debtor nation, and one of the major issuers of reserve currency in the world, the US "should not indulge in the depreciation of US dollars, or adopt any new monetary means to exacerbate the situation", and "the policy makers of this state should raise their awareness of 'responsibility' and remind themselves of the 'simple' duty and honor embodied in the maxim that 'he who owes money pays the debt'”。
在本題翻譯中,一些網友的語法分析有誤,比如“標準普爾公司降低美國評級對中國的負面影響,或許即將顯現”這一句的翻譯中的錯誤:
1) It may be probable for the Standard & Poor to reduce the side effect upon China by the graded U.S。
2) Standard and Pool's corporation may weaken the American’s debt crisis impact on China。
3) Standard &Poor's may reduce the negative impact of American downgrading on China and perhaps it will happen。
從上述錯誤可以看出,對漢語的語法分析同樣很重要,我們這里用括號的形式分析如下:
[(標準普爾公司降低美國評級)(對中國)的負面影響],或許即將顯現。
這樣我們可以看到,小括號內是兩個定語,“標準普爾公司降低美國評級”不是句子的主干部分,翻譯成英語同樣不能成為主干部分,所以上述三個句子的翻譯就明顯錯了。
文中所提到中國發出聲音,提醒美國“借錢要還”在目前的形勢下,也只是一種提醒,所以在翻譯的時候要正確理解和處理,即要表達出中國人的聲音,也要實事求是地傳達出原文的意思,有些地方也可以借助詞匯的引申意義和意象來潛在傳達向自己的意圖。筆者在第一段中使用了(taking) the lion's share 這個成語,意圖表達其中隱含的風險。最后一句中,筆者更是直譯了中國的一句古話,“欠債還錢(he who owes money pays the debt)”,這句話套用了英語句式,he who plays with fire gets burnt,提醒的意思更清楚了。
一些詞語的翻譯也需靈活處理,比如“決策機制”,翻譯成policy-makers比翻譯成policy-making mechanisms要好,不少網友的處理都是正確的。“放任”這個詞的翻譯也有一些講究,翻譯成indulge in的目的旨在于批評美國放任自流的態度,millennium網友用了indulge這個詞,但沒有注意到及物性問題。
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